Desire to Function

I’ve had multiple people in the past tell me “it’s a choice”, “you're just doing that for show”, “You can decide to not be like that”. 
The truth is… This is me being truthful. It isn’t a lifestyle choice. I’m not doing it to bring attention to myself or to appear interesting. It is a genuine struggle that I deal with. Every. Single. Day. 
Dysfunction.
The pain I endure having to be myself and be unable to go through my day without dropping, spilling, running into, or tripping over something is almost overwhelming. Even to cook meals made up of generally simple food, is a basic necessity that I manage to turn into an excruciating, infuriating, and tear inducing battle.
There is no easy thing that I can do easily. Cracking an egg is not done simply by my hand, not because I want to, but because dysfunction is part of my being. The act of egg cracking involves breaking the egg on the counter, losing most of its goodness, salvaging what I can and dumping it all (shell included) into the pan and calling it a night. Throughout the day, I grow more and more exhausted solely from dealing with my own incapabilities with everything. 
As frustrating as it is to watch me try to accomplish everyday chores in a violently chaotic manner, one must remember that I’m the one who has to deal with this on the regular. I’m the one who’s stuck with myself.
Cooking a half hour meal takes two hours. Taking out the garbage involves struggling to hold all the bags, dropping them, tripping over them and wanting to throw myself away with them when I finally arrive at the dumpster. Shuffling a deck or cards.. Well I can’t even do that because my hands are too small. 
It is a very stressful way to live, mainly because I want not to be a burden on anyone else. I don’t want to hold up a line by failing to remove my debit card from my wallet, or keep my friends waiting on me for ten minutes as I fight with my shoelaces to tie them. I live in a constant state of panic, fear, and stress. Dysfunction has affected me strongly and I worry that it is something that I won’t outgrow, it is not a phase I’m going through. Instead, it is something that I will live with for the rest of my days. 
All I ask of people is to be patient, understanding, and kind to those like me that endure dysfunction constantly. I want people to be more aware that there are some of us who face this horrible condition that renders us nearly unable to carry out our basic human needs. I know I can’t be the only one out there and so I hope this sparks a feeling of hope in someone else when they realize that they are not alone. I stand with you, even though I will probably trip over something shortly after, I stand with you nonetheless.