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Some of my friends mentioned in the past that resumes and job interviews are stupid. And I agree. Businesses ask for our help and yet, we have to then convince them why they should accept it. The crap is that all about? That’s like if I put in my friends group chat “I need help vacuuming my ceiling,” and then a couple friends say they can do that and instead of inviting them over and telling them how to go about this, I ask each of them to convince me why they think they are capable of helping. That would be super weird. But that’s what businesses do. The stupid ass saga that I went through to get my job still makes me cringe at my past self.
It was about a week after I moved to the island the first time when I roomed with a friend. I applied for my drug store because I had already worked at my past drug store for a while and had plenty of experience with customer service. It made sense to carry on in a similar environment for the next eight or so months before moving back home. I believe I applied online and I applied specifically for the location I work at now. They contacted me for an interview and I agreed, stoked that I might have a place to work soon. The store was a twenty ish minute bike ride from the basement suite I lived in. I knew the route because I’d gone to the mall that it’s a part of with my friend before. It was one of the few things I knew geographically since, again, I’d only been there for several days. The day of the interview, I took off on my bicycle. The weather was threatening to get crappy, but by the time that would happen, I’d already be indoors begging for a job. I arrived twenty minutes early because I panic about time and also wanted a few moments to become unsweaty. I took a seat near the pharmacy because that’s what my instructions were from the email I got and waited. Fifteen minutes passed which was fine since I was early. Then a few more minutes passed and I was getting worried. I asked one of the pharmacy staff about the interview I was scheduled to have and after some minutes of phone calls and figuring things out, it was found that I was supposed to be at another place. The interview was to happen at another store location. I was never told this, I assumed that I would show up at the store location I applied for but I guess I was stupid. The dude told my incredibly stressed self where to find this other store since google maps hates my phone and has never worked and I naturally didn’t know where to go because I hadn’t lived here that long. It would take another fifteen to twenty minutes to bike there. I wanted to die. I should have just called it a day and applied elsewhere, but I had an appointment, a commitment, my anxiety brain couldn’t simply leave that unfinished. So I biked again in a foreign direction, in the now sprinkling rain that had started. I made it to the other store in a sweaty, damp, incredibly irked state. After asking an important looking person, I was taken to a room where a nice lady asked me all the typical interview questions. I liked her, she seemed to like me, and despite the rocky start, the interview felt pretty good. And then she told me that I was to meet with the owner for a second interview. A SECOND INTERVIEW? FOR A DRUG STORE? WHY?! The second interview with the owner man went about the same. Except he asked his questions in a way that took years off my life. He told me to “convince him”. He asked me “why should I hire <my name> for this job”. Why was he asking that as if to someone else about me and not to my face? Why was he acting like I was here for some prestigious position? I dunno, but it was uncomfortable and I hated it. More than anything though, I was enraged. CONVINCE YOU? EXCUSE ME?! Good sir, I fucking biked to the store that I applied for because I wasn’t told otherwise and I showed up early! I then biked, in the rain, to this store to have this cursed interview because you fucked up and never gave me a specific address! I could have gone home, but I didn’t! I pedaled my wee heart out to get here as close to my interview time as possible after a failure on your end! I didn’t flip off your assistant manager after she told me that I needed a second interview for a minimum wage job! And I didn’t punch you when you have the audacity to ask me to convince you when you are seeking employees! And whilst those last two things are in jest, I also have fucking YEARS of experience because I’ve been working like a fucking dumbass since high school! Fuck you! Obviously I politely convinced him because I got the job in the end. But I will forever seethe over the false importance of minimum wage positions being dangled over people seeking work as if they’re seeking to work for the bloody dead queen of England! They want you to have experience and yet they won’t take you in to give that to you. So how are you supposed to get that? They ask you about any “gap years” and penalize you if you fail to give a desirable answer. As if that’s the only valuable thing you can do is constantly work and to stop implies unreliability. As if wanting to take a break or do something else is sacrilegious and unworthy. They want you to sell your soul, body, and mind for poverty wages and have you beg them to do so. It’s sick! I think it would be perfectly reasonable to leave a card or something with my name and number and maybe email if I’m feeling super wild. That should be it. Call me if you want people, use that three month probation period to train me and see if I fit, and after that you can keep me or discard me. But for the love of gods, just give us a chance through our work ethic and will. Stop wasting our time with stupid questions. For many people, they take a day or many days out of their week to go to interviews at multiple places. It’s time consuming and ultimately not worth it because an interview doesn’t really tell you what you need to know. Seeing us do the thing we were hired for will. That’s the whole beauty of those three months when you can fire us whenever. We have lives, but so many of us have such little time to live them. I lost around two hours of my life on that fateful day. I could have been with my friend or myself or anything else that didn’t involve terrified cycling. Now, if I apply anywhere, it’s only in the downtown region because I don’t have time to waste taking busses places if in the end it gets me nowhere. Businesses are nothing without the employees, so how about, the employers convince us to stay. And how about the employees prove themselves in the actual position because that’s the most important. Not everyone has access to a printer to get their resumes out there. Not everyone has much experience to put on a resume hence why entering the workforce. Not everyone has a polished look on paper but could be incredibly hardworking and passionate in person. Do what math teachers always tell us to do and let us show you our work, not just present the answer with nothing to support it.
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This dude came to my till last week. Sauntered is what he did. He stopped in front of my counter and just stared at me for too long. I felt like I was supposed to know him with how he was looking at me. Smugly chewing his gum, he looked me up and down, slowly reached into his pocket, and pulled out his bus pass.
“I found it,” said he, waving it lazily around. That’s why I knew him. It must be. Ever since we changed up our transit pass system, only a few places now sell the cards used for the bus. We are not one of those sellers, after years of selling transit tickets and monthly passes. It’s been a very confusing time for customers since they no longer know where to find the new reloadable cards. This has left me with directing many a person to stores that may have them, and this guy was likely someone who asked about that. I still didn’t know why he was here, since if it were to tell me that he succeeded his mission, all was already said. Yet here he still stood. Chewing his stupid gum. “So,” he says, “can I reload this here?” This guy is not only weird, but stupid. If I told him where to find our new passes, then I certainly would have told him that we have nothing to do with them at all, including reloading them. But I told him again anyway, hoping he would leave after. He stared at me again, still chewing his gum, with this smirk on his face. I started thinking this fool was going to ask me out and I started panicking internally. Then he glanced over at my friend. My pink friend who works with me was standing not far from us organizing stock. She was facing away from us so I had no idea how much of this encounter she could hear. I was now internally panicking for both of us. If he wasn’t going to ask me anywhere, he’d probably ask the hyper-feminine looking one. “Your friend is very beautiful,” he said, turning back to me. Oh fuck off to oblivion. Called it. “Thanks,” I replied, pausing for a moment because why am I thanking him? That makes literally no sense. I’m not the one who built my friend. So I added, “I guess”. The cocky little shit with the audacity of the gods then asked me for her name. She was standing right there but sure, ask me instead, dumb fuck. Gods I hate him. I told him though since he probably would have asked her if I didn’t. He looked her way again. “Hi, <insert name here>!” She gave an awkward “hi” back. And then he gave a final glance at us both with his stupid face and his stupid smirk and his stupid gum and sauntered off. Disgusting. I felt like I needed sixteen showers after that weirdness. He was so slimy and icky and the two of us were wheezing in uncomfortable laughter after he departed. Just another man with gross man cooties. Remember the Lord of the Rings movies? Remember how impeccable and nearly perfect they were? Remember how many people fell in love with Tolkien’s world brought to life? Do we even need to remember, when that strong love for those movies is still around to this day? Apparently so.
The Hobbit trilogy was a cash grab and it didn’t need to be and I’m angry about it. I finally read the book all the way through some months ago but it was read to my class almost to the end when I was in seventh grade and I had almost read the whole thing around then too. I have a good grasp on the story. The trio of movies did not have a good grasp at all. There is already a huge fan base for everything Tolkien, yet it seemed that the movies forgot about that and tried desperately to garner people’s attention. They butchered the plot in favor of poor action scenes and nonsensical romantic relationships. They took an incredibly simple story and mutilated it. There were ways to make the slow pace and quiet chapters screen worthy. Honestly, the book would be rather easy to condense with proper transitions. The change of seasons, the wear and tear of the characters, the loss of supplies, a montage or two of various sceneries from multiple angles. Showing the Battle of Five Armies would make for good cinema, and they did that, they just did it bad. Which is so frustrating because the LOTR trilogy has beautiful battle scenes and those could have inspired so much. I’ve watched over and over again compilations of those battles because they leave me in awe every time. If they wanted reasonable pacing, this could have been a duology of movies, the first one “There”, the second “Back Again”. Not saying those should be the titles, but in terms of story they contain, the first covers the first half of the journey and the second covers the way back home. Not everything has to be a trio. I’m just so mad about these stupid movies because I’m such a LOTR lover, I have the dvd extended edition box set. I spent forty dollars on Amazon to get the Two Towers extended version in that form because one of my discs died. Those movies were made so long ago all things considered but they look a thousand times better! The quality, the effects, the costuming, the filmography, stunt work, writing, everything! The Hobbit trio looked so cheap for no reason. The CGI was insulting, the dialog weak, the characters butchered. They fucked up the timeline just so they could get fan service over characters that weren’t even born yet and to tie in plotlines from the original movies that made no sense. The whole thing sucks so much because they would have had a huge audience regardless since there are so many fans out there. We didn’t need cardboard romances from thin air or video game physics fights. We needed to see the love and appreciation and passion for these movies the same way we did before. We needed authenticity and care and we got an empty husk instead. The casting wasn’t even an issue in my opinion, save for the extra characters that shouldn’t have been there, but they had so little to work with. The same director from the LOTR trilogy was not enough to save the accursed Hobbit trilogy. It was a flop and it makes me sad. I’m not the biggest fan of remakes but I love expanding worlds and stories and the Hobbit was a perfect opportunity for that but they dropped the ball hard. I hate money and executives. They always ruin perfectly good products and ideas and everything for greed. Money needs to no longer continue to be the main purpose for creation, it fouls everything that comes from that. We deserve better. Stories deserve better. Tolkien deserves better. One day a fella came to my till and he asked to purchase some Apple gift cards. Though I ask basically everyone who wants a large amount in gift cards, I especially get wary when it’s older chaps like this guy. I did my usual spiel, asking if he got any weird phone calls or emails or whatnot and that a lot of scams happen with these. When I gave him a look, he said he knew it looked suspicious, to which I replied with a somewhat stressed “uh huh”. He assured me he was well aware of these scams and didn’t have a computer even so there was nothing to worry about. He had somewhat of an accent so I didn’t fully understand what he was going on about, but I did make out “boat”. I proceeded to give him his seven gift cards worth three thousand, five hundred dollars and he went on his merry way.
And then he came back the next day with another request for gift cards. I told him again that scams were a thing and sometimes emails look like they are from family members but are fake. I asked if he phoned any family that had such a request to confirm in person. He told me that he knew what he was doing and this wasn’t any family matter. He was buying an engine for his boat. He just needed to cover the shipping. Because it was coming from the States. He was buying an engine for his boat? From the States? Without a computer? with….Apple gift cards? Oh yessir he was, but again, there was no need to worry because he had no computer. So I gave him his two thousand dollars worth of apple gift cards. And then he came in a second time that day. He wanted five hundred dollars worth of Apple gift cards. It was to cover the taxes, he said. He seemed a bit exasperated, like “why do these engine merchants not tell me everything I need to pay the first time round?” I wasn’t about to give him the scam rundown again because he’d already been warned twice. I just gave him his stupid cards. He came in a third time that very same day for two hundred dollars worth of cards this time. It was for his grandkids. He told me he had four kids from, it was either two or three, previous wives and from those kids he had five grandkids. I can’t imagine why this guy would have been twice to thrice divorced, he seems awesome with his finances and brain cells. At least this reason didn’t seem like absolute bullshit. That same week another, much older, fella came to buy Apple gift cards. He was also very hard to understand at first. But after I gave him the scam ye be warned talk, he said something about his wife just dying and needing to sort things out. So…. naturally that means buying Apple gift cards. I sold him the two hundred dollars worth that he sought. He showed up the next day asking for the same amount. Because of his age and the fact he said the exact same reason for needing the cards, I wondered if he had forgotten he came in the day prior. I let him know that I had helped him yesterday and he already spent two hundred on cards. He seemed lost for a moment before replying that he remembered, the cards just didn’t work at all so he needed to come back for new ones. I wanted to hide in a wall. This was so incredibly sketchy. I let him know that he could call Apple themselves and tell them his debacle but he told me they were useless with that and he simply wanted to purchase the replacement cards. I did as asked and took the two hundred dollars. Again. The next week he came in wanting a hundred dollars worth. He said he’s sorting out a funeral for his wife that just died and wanted to get the grandkids something nice. I gave him the card and took his money. I didn’t run into this dude this time, but there is a third old guy who is known to basically all the cashiers for he so often buys twenty five hundred dollars worth of Apple gift cards. There is absolutely no convincing him of any possible scamming. I did have a lady though come through wanting a hundred dollars worth of Apple cards. Gave her the warning, she paid, that was that. Until she came in again like the next day or so wanting another because the one she got was faulty. I told her about calling Apple. She said they were useless. I told her about calling our company hotline because they might also be able to help. She got annoyed that we would have our cards not locked up and free for people to tamper. I assured her that anytime we hear of anything like that, we check every single card to ensure its validity. She didn’t seem convinced and wanted me to let my manager know that our cards were being messed with. I think it was within two weeks that this amount of gift card bullshittery happened. I wanted to fire myself and kick everyone out of the store forever. I wanted to hide under a rock or kick a rock or perhaps throw a rock because I was so annoyed at none of these idiots listening to me. And sure, you can say, “well why didn’t you refuse to sell them the cards? Certainly that’s allowed?” It is, however, I would much rather people get scammed through me. Why? So when the day comes that they scream at me about their shortcomings, I can confidently say that I warned them and they didn’t listen. There was a time once before I knew about these scams. A lady, probably in her thirties, wanted to buy a bunch of Apple cards from me. It was at my old drug store and I was younger and more innocent than I am now. She came in multiple times that day in a panic whilst on the phone asking me for more cards. When I didn’t see her again that day, I told my manager about the strange encounter. That was when she explained to me the very obvious scamming of that woman. She said to always ask when people seek many a card for many a dollar if they’d gotten any weird calls or the likes. It’s been more than five years now I think and I’ve been trying to avenge myself for that fateful day ever since. I had so much guilt from my ignorance and have embarked on a mission to never again let someone fall victim without warning. I’ve been successful three times, each with older women. It was so satisfying knowing I prevented a bad thing from happening. I wasn’t satisfied at all with those two weeks though. I was the antithesis of that. Can’t win them all I suppose. I don’t know how that one guy managed to run into boat engine sellers from another country when he had no computer and only a phone (presumably not a smart phone). It is one of the great mysteries of the world. He hasn’t come back though so maybe it was truthful all around and he’s out there right now sailing on his working boat. One can dream. |
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