Boob Refund

    As I said last week, I underwent surgery. I got a boob job. Except the opposite kind of boob job most would assume. I did a refund rather than a bulk buy. 
     A lot of people that know me never really knew the amount of real estate my breastuses occupied on my chest. There was a lot. So much so, that the two of them would chafe each other when mushed in their holding device to the extent that my skin texture between them is now speckled and weirdly smooth. It’s the main reason why I bought actual bras in the past year, so I could separate them just as the pandemic has separated us humans from one another. Six feet isn’t possible but underwire suffices. Unfortunately bras aren’t cheap, at least not for bigger cup sizes. And if you have a smaller band size then it’s also hella difficult to find a proper fit. I spent around three hundred dollars for a total of six bras. One which actually didn’t end up fitting proper but I already removed the tags, another more styled like a fancier sports bra. These were all on clearance or on sale. Three hundred dollars, ish. They aren’t comfortable, the underwire presses into my ribs and underneath my arms, the straps dig into my shoulders. They keep the underboob sweat more contained so that’s a plus, but there’s a reason taking off one’s bra at the end of the day is such a blessed sensation of release. 
    I’m five foot two, slightly stocky. My band size is thirty-two inches, my cup size was DDD or F. A third of my torso was boob. Between feeling uncomfortable in my appearance and feeling weighed down in dance and anything else physical and with the added bonus of my chest cushions declaring war with my bank account, I needed a change. A deletion. A refund. So, last March I went through Telus Health, asked for a referral and went from there. The wait time was originally twelve to eighteen months after a referral was accepted so my surgery came much faster than expected. It wasn’t the easiest, what with me not having a doctor, clinics being at capacity, and health professionals fleeing their jobs because the pandemic destroyed their souls. It still took time, most of it waiting, some of it running around to complete the required pre-surgery things. 
    It’s since been a week and two days from my surgery that accidentally occured two and a half hours late. I can’t tell a lot of things regarding my results as the swelling is still abundant and everything still hurts. I don’t know if my stamina will be awesome after this, and breathing too hard annoys my wounds so if that’s improved, I can’t get a good grasp yet. The boobs are definitely smaller though. My shirts fit more straight down, my regret pouch is no longer hidden but for now that’s a positive, I can see my feet looking directly downward. I used to not be able to see my feet because my boobs were in the way!?! My back still needs to be slightly hunched so I don’t stretch any post-op maintenance but I do feel lighter to an extent. The majority of my results though won’t be able to be analyzed for at least four weeks, and some for up to a year. I’m basically just gonna be a flop for awhile since movement and gravity hurt me right now but I am so absolutely happy I did the thing and refunded some boob. Ecstatic even, because I lost almost two pounds of unnecessary physical and mental problems. 1.8 pounds to be exact but still significant if you think about it. Just find a two pound weight, pick it up, and realize that was the weight attached to my chest for years. And I still have some left over! Though I don’t know what the cup size is for it’s impossible to tell currently, my surgeon and myself decided a small B/large A cup was the plan, so I’m hoping after a while, that’s what will come of this. Still something there, but much more squishable if desired. No more hundreds of dollars spent on painful bras struggling to support their contents. Here on out it’s five to thirty dollars on a bralette or a pack of bralettes, or no cost for going commando because that’s also an option after six weeks. Even better, is that I’ll still make it back to dance before our year end show with two months to get in shape so I can perform and move without my cursed boobs dragging me down. I’ve never danced at the level I’m at now without that extra almost two pounds so I’m looking forward to being able to do that.
    As much as Canadian health care is stupid, I’m incredibly glad that this surgery, the checkups, the pre-op physical, the bloodwork was all free of charge. Now to look forward to six weeks off of work and dance, a much needed, if irregular, vacation.